Exactly Alike and Completely Different at the Same Time
My twin sister Bonnie and I are exactly alike and completely different at exactly the same time.
I sometimes think Bonnie and I are the proverbial chalk and cheese. We fight constantly, even now when it doesn't really matter anymore. No one on this planet makes me angrier, but no one makes me laugh harder either. The few times I have laughed so hard that I feel I am about to lose consciousness, it has invariably been in response to something Bonnie has said or done. There I am turning blue, unable to catch my breath and she is screaming, "Stop laughing."
Unfortunately, being twins, we are sometimes compared. Of course we are fraternal twins so such comparisons are kind of useless. When we were growing up, Bonnie was placed in the loveable category; Sharon in the admired category; and I was the weird one. I always lost those competitions, but never my sister's love.
I have always seen myself reflected in Bonnie's eyes. When she says I am okay, then I feel okay. When she says I am not okay, I argue vehemently that she's wrong, but I don't feel okay. Her approval has always meant more to me than anyone's except maybe my father's.
The night my father died, I was in the midst of a bitter argument with him. I don't remember what it was about anymore. Looking back now, I think my father saw himself in me and was trying to save me from repeating his emotional mistakes. I was 15 years old and having none of that. After the battle raged for two days straight, my twin begged me to end the war. For some reason, I listened.
My father was in the living room watching television. I made my way to his side, kissed him on the cheek and said I was sorry. He always forgave me. He loved me best. Thirty minutes later, he was dead. If I hadn't listened to Bonnie, I would have never forgiven myself. I owe Bonnie for that.
With rare exceptions, both of my sisters and I accept each other's differences and love each other unconditionally. When we say that when one of us is hurt, the other two bleed, it is true. We've always been close, but Sharon's problems have deepened our relationship. Bonnie has become a full-time advocate for Sharon which has been an enormous relief for me. We still fight. We never agree. I handle things one way; she handles it another. She insists her way is the only way; I am never that certain. It's a constant dance between us; but she is true and good and ever kind.
I love my sister Bonnie. Nowadays, she has finally given me unconditional approval. The one constant throughout my life has been the love we have for each other.
I sometimes think Bonnie and I are the proverbial chalk and cheese. We fight constantly, even now when it doesn't really matter anymore. No one on this planet makes me angrier, but no one makes me laugh harder either. The few times I have laughed so hard that I feel I am about to lose consciousness, it has invariably been in response to something Bonnie has said or done. There I am turning blue, unable to catch my breath and she is screaming, "Stop laughing."
Unfortunately, being twins, we are sometimes compared. Of course we are fraternal twins so such comparisons are kind of useless. When we were growing up, Bonnie was placed in the loveable category; Sharon in the admired category; and I was the weird one. I always lost those competitions, but never my sister's love.
I have always seen myself reflected in Bonnie's eyes. When she says I am okay, then I feel okay. When she says I am not okay, I argue vehemently that she's wrong, but I don't feel okay. Her approval has always meant more to me than anyone's except maybe my father's.
The night my father died, I was in the midst of a bitter argument with him. I don't remember what it was about anymore. Looking back now, I think my father saw himself in me and was trying to save me from repeating his emotional mistakes. I was 15 years old and having none of that. After the battle raged for two days straight, my twin begged me to end the war. For some reason, I listened.
My father was in the living room watching television. I made my way to his side, kissed him on the cheek and said I was sorry. He always forgave me. He loved me best. Thirty minutes later, he was dead. If I hadn't listened to Bonnie, I would have never forgiven myself. I owe Bonnie for that.
With rare exceptions, both of my sisters and I accept each other's differences and love each other unconditionally. When we say that when one of us is hurt, the other two bleed, it is true. We've always been close, but Sharon's problems have deepened our relationship. Bonnie has become a full-time advocate for Sharon which has been an enormous relief for me. We still fight. We never agree. I handle things one way; she handles it another. She insists her way is the only way; I am never that certain. It's a constant dance between us; but she is true and good and ever kind.
I love my sister Bonnie. Nowadays, she has finally given me unconditional approval. The one constant throughout my life has been the love we have for each other.
posted by Ambimom at 2:55 PM
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